An Introduction

Change your story; change your life!!

What is your life's story? Does it include frustration about your weight? Have you tried “everything” only find that “everything” doesn’t work? Has your story stopped working for you?  Maybe it is time to write a new story.

The key to lasting weight loss is to find a solution that “fits” you. No matter what; diets are NOT one size fits all. The only way to get a solution that is your “size” is to create it around you. In the same way that a tailor crafts the perfect suit, you can craft the perfect solution by building a life better story.  

 Your story is a “big as your life” screenplay with you in the starring role. For better or for worse, the story of your life is the product of the script you have written. Even though you may want to demand your money back, the show will go on and the tickets you hold are non-refundable.

 Wait! Your story is not over until the curtain falls. Every day is an opportunity to improve the script. All you need are the right tools and the right help. I am here to help. This book has been designed to give you everything you need to turn your story from an overweight tragedy to a weight loss triumph!

By gathering information from hundreds of resources, I have compiled all the tools you need to get started! With the accumulated knowledge of some of the finest minds in the areas of, research, nutrition, medicine, behavioral science and exercise physiology you will be able to write a winning story!!

Unlike many diet books this book does not leave you hanging  by simply changing the script. Through extensive study with the masters of success, this book will help you to LIVE the story you write. You will become a master performer in your life. Your previous attempts at weight loss have failed because you were just reading the script. This book will get you performing that script like a master. You will do what you need to do and, like a master performer it will seem effortless as you move across the stage with ease and grace. Best of all, you will do it because you want to not because you have to.  

With the application of these proven methods of behavior change you will be able to live your story as never before. This book will provide you with all the information and actual tools you need to deliver the performance of a lifetime. Better yet; a lifetime of incredible performance! It is possible. It has been done by other, very ordinary people and YOU CAN DO IT!

Foreword

Whose Life is it Anyway?

I can’t deny it. I enjoyed being a stand-up comic. Having an audience always gave me energy. I loved to hear the laughter and the applause, especially when it is meant for me. Although my wife refused to say it: I was funny. When pressed, she would say that I was “entertaining.” I never understood exactly what she meant by that, I thought I was funny.

 I also can’t lie about it; I never really got that far. Stand-up comedy requires a lot of time on stage and I never really put that time in. My friends that have seen some success in “the biz” have devoted their lives to developing a “killer” 45 minute routine. They hone every aspect of their story and they deliver it with the timing and precision of a space landing. They don’t even have the support of “ground control.” They are truly masters of a difficult craft.

I, on the other hand, got tired of hearing my own routine. If I had to hear:  “. . . and then the Doctor said: “Does obesity run in your family? Doc; nobody runs in my family.” come out of my mouth with that over exaggerated “Long Island” accent; one more time . . I was gonna die.

I lost my stand-up thunder right around the time I discovered the art of “Improv.” If you have ever seen the show “Whose line is it anyway?,” that; is Improv. The actors make up an entire show from what the audience says and does. I took to it like a duck to water. I never got tired of doing it. It required me to think on my feet. I needed to be part of the creation of the audience’s story. The actors on stage did not write the story. The audience did. We only helped it develop and brought it to life. Really good shows bring members of the audience up on stage. It is risky and it can bring some unexpected results but in the hands of a skilled crew, it is always magic.

Improv required all my energy and it also required that I trust the people who were crafting this story along side me. As the story progressed, it was an ultimate give and take. In the end; the story was our gift to the audience. More often, good or bad, they loved it because it was theirs.

The only real rule to this game is to accept everyone and every thing as they came. The abiding law of improve is “don’t deny.” What this means is that you take whatever the other actors, the audience, the props and even the scenery drops on you and make it work. It is the ultimate in “take the world as it comes,” and it always makes for a great story.

            At the very end of this book is my story. It is interesting enough, I suppose. Your basic: boy is fat, boy loses weight, boy gains weight, boy gains more weight, man loses weight, man gains weight . . . . yada, yada;  man changes whole life kinda thing. Frankly, I am a bit sick of hearing it. Read it if you want. It may help my words in the book to have more value for you. If you think knowing my story will help you; great. Read it! I won’t be offended if you don’t.

I have to be honest, though this book did start with my story. When I first envisioned writing it, it was my story. That’s all it was. It wasn’t going to help anyone. It may have been “entertaining,” but not helpful. Even if I thought it was. In the end it would have been my gift to myself. But the gift would have been an empty box. It would have gone about as far as my ill fated career as a stand-up comic. I am glad I found Improv.

            This book is really about your story, the “new and improved” one we are going to create together. It is my gift to you. It is your gift to you. No matter what, you are going to love it because it will be yours. My only rule is that you accept you, just the way you come. Forget who you think you are and think about who you can be. When you write the story you can be the superhero. We are going to let the story develop. Just like with Improv, all you have to do is trust the other actors, think on your feet, devote your energy and accept everyone and everything as it comes.

The curtain is going up now . . . . it’s ok to have a little stage fright. I am here with you and we are going to be fine.  No matter what – this performance will be better than before.

 Dedication

“No matter how far my journey leads, they never fail to pack for me ample quantities of these three: faith, hope and love.”

This book is dedicated to my wife, Jen and my Children: AJ and Nicole. Their unwavering support and belief in me is the engine that drives me to do what I thought I could not. They are my greatest teachers.

My life with this family is truly a blessing. No matter how we are challenged, we always return to the three things that matter most. In the words of the apostle Paul: “faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” I thank them for the endless supply of all three.  

No matter how far my journey leads, they never fail to pack for me ample quantities of these three: faith, hope and love.

Acknowledgments

Acknowledgments - Thank You - Everybody - No, Really

      This has been an amazing process! Absolutely everyone I have come into contact with since I have started this book has contributed in some way. Dr. Wayne Dyer once said: "Everyone is my teacher." As it so happens, if you allow yourself to see the entire world as your teacher, you end up learning a whole lot. The more you look for teachers, the more teachers you find. The more teachers you find, the more you learn.

Of course, there are the biggies. My wife is my anchor. I tend to be a little intense. This book has put me into intensity overload. As I push to get this book out of my head, I have been going to my special writing place (Panera Bread) 40 hours a week. That's 40 hours after work. She has not seen too much of me. She just walked in. It's my 41st birthday and my friends are now gathering here at the Panera bread. I am still writing. Boy, do I have good friends.

My children have totally understood as well. I can't believe how adult they are. They have been supportive beyond belief. Actually, not beyond belief at all; they (and my wife) totally believe in me and that is what has given me the most comfort. 

Mom and Pop have been a huge help. One of the most important things I did when preparing to write this book was to sit down and pen them a letter of thank you. I could write another whole book on the powerful positive influence that my parents have had on my life. If you feel stuck where you are, try taking inventory of the gifts your parents have given you. No matter what issues you have with your parents, chances are, they have enriched you more than you think. Mom, Dad: Thanks again.

My sister Joyce and brother-in-law Bob, they are good neighbors and good friends. They have been there with all kinds of support (financial and otherwise) throughout.

My brother Rick, thank you in advance for the use of the recording studio for the audio book.   

Ann, my writing coach, has been here in person, on the phone and by email. She has put up with the fact that I have "my own way" and I have been learning to give into the process. She has an awesome system. When I finally let that system work for me, a book came out!!

My thanks also go out to the entire Riverhead Panera Bread crew for their support as I intruded into their world for over 600 hours as the “resident artist.”

Thanks to Hillary Pridgen for offering her home and her business ( www.trumbullhouse.com ) as a magnificent writing retreat.

Credit also belongs to the Massey boys, Christopher and Douglas for being in the coffee shop on my very first day of writing. They listened intently and laughed at all the right things. Their mom, a server at the shop, now works for me. This book has blessed me with so many new friends and teachers.

This book is as much about telling good stories as it is about weight loss. Writing a book is a glorious yet often painful process.  It is the delicate and hopefully elegant telling of a story. In the case of this book, it is the telling of many stories. The telling of a good story requires a detailed understanding of the material, clarity in thought, organization and  most of all it requires that you treat the subject honestly. In every regard, the most important aspect to the telling of a good, honest story is the good counsel of those you trust. Nothing takes the place of good editing and coaching. The professionals you entrust keep your story honest. They provide you the benefit of a clear, well informed perspective.  In essence, this book is about changing your life. It is a guide on how to make the story of your life better. If you look in the mirror and do not like the person you see, what you need to do is write yourself a better story. Like writing a book, it is a glorious and often painful process. It requires an understanding of the subject (you), clarity in thought, organization and most of all it requires that you treat the subject (again, you) honestly. Most importantly, it requires that you seek the eyes of the people best equipped to make your story the best it can be. Remember, no one ever writes their story alone. The creation of a great story is a truly magical process. As you create your story it is constantly evolving and changing. Such is the journey of life.  When you begin writing your new “life story”, remember it does not have to be perfect. Allow for spelling errors, grammatical faux pas, and major changes in the plot line. You have your whole life to edit it. What I have come to understand is that good stories are merely written while the truly GREAT stories are first written, re-written and then written again. A truly great story is like a work of art. Every stroke adds some color, some nuance and some brilliance. To the artist, the piece is never finished and that is okay. The story you write is worth tinkering with.

I fear I am in danger of running as long as an OSCAR® acceptance speech but I know I have left out so many people from this text. If I left them out, it was in the interest of brevity not because they were forgotten. Additional notables are: Anne Marie Kronnenbitter, my ever helpful/perpetually thoughtful office manager, John Quinn, Denise Fellows, Joe Frohnhoefer, Dennis Gorman, Margaret Moore, Dr. Richard Rubenstein, MD, and the countless others that have made the ramblings of this fool a reality.